The Great Bob Stansbury

“Eat up” She said. Bob looked skeptically at the fish but his stomach churned with hunger. He said “Can I have my tool back?” Ihana said “Why?” Bob said “Well, I’d rather cut the scales off than chew through them.” Ihana shrugged and reached in her satchel pulling out Bob’s multi-tool. Bob pulled out the knife blade and skinned the fish collecting their fillets for his food. Ihana watched in amazement. “I’ve never seen anyone eat that way before.” She said. Bob snarkily replied “That’s because you are all savages squatting in this shit-hole world.” Ihana retorted “Hey, Tania is way better than your non-magical Earth any day!” Bob rolled his eyes and replied “Says the man-eating Ogre…” Ihana replied sarcastically “I bet it doesn’t even matter that you came here. A man as clumsy as you would have probably been eaten by something in your world anyhow.” Bob looked closely at Ihana and said “Nothing eats people in my world. I mean, maybe once or twice a year a shark or bear might snag someone, but people aren’t food.” Ihana’s eyes widened “But, what keeps your population in check then? I mean, surely that is an unsustainable ecology with humans having no natural predators!” Bob thought about this.

He never considered it that way before. He replied “Maybe that’s why there’s over seven billion of us.”

Ihana gasped and her eyes shot up wide “Billion!?” Bob smiled and said “More than seven billion.” Ihana looked off and sighed “An entire world, practically carpeted with and controlled by a single species… one shudders to think about it!” Bob replied quietly “Or yearns to return.” Ihana shook her head “Well, at least I can rest safe in the fact that you won’t be missed from your world. Here, we predators have to be careful. There’s only a few million humans in this world, tops. Little episodes like what you saw between me and that mermaid are becoming more and more common as we share a limited and dwindling resource. If you had not been so close, I would have killed her simply for the insult of having touched my livestock.”

Bob frowned and said sarcastically “I’m touched by your sympathy.”

Synopsis
Bob Stansbury's relatively straightforward contracting job at the Langalis Mansion hits a snag when he stumbles across a portal to an alternate world where magic is real and humans are not the top of the food-chain. To save their own lives, the terrified citizens pay Bob as tribute to the beautiful yet lethal ogresss Ihana who opts to keep him alive for a short while so her 'meat' can stay fresh. As he lives with her, however, Bob learns to appreciate the woman inside the monster that is Ihana. Can their relationship ever be anything but predator-prey? Or is this the end of Bob as we know it?
I keep a pretty simple rule on writing. I only write it if its fun to write and interesting to read