“Joy stood up off my bed, turned her back to me and slid her tunic down a little. From between her shoulder blades, two small, mutilated looking stumps arose. They were covered with scar tissue and clearly designed to affix to a larger structure which was no longer there. Joy continued. Now her voice became robotic, cold, and flat. She didn’t want to face the emotion of what happened next and so she sapped it of all emotion there could be. “He ordered Gabriel to hold me down and Michael to cut off my wings. I pleaded with them saying ‘Brothers, please, I am your sister. Do not do this to me.’ Michael sneered at me and replied ‘you stopped being my sister when you made your choice to disobey our Father. You act as no daughter of his and no sister of mine.’ Gabriel, held my arms so I could not fight back. I begged of him ‘Gabriel, my love, do not do this to me!’ Tears came to Gabriel’s eyes. He replied ‘Joy, just repent and do as he commands. I beg you. Perhaps even now our Father may show you mercy.’ I shook my head and replied ‘I cannot.’ Gabriel then sobbed as he said ‘Michael, please just do it quickly in a single stroke so it is not too painful for her. Joy…’” Joy stopped and sniffed. She then continued “Gabriel said to me, ‘Joy, I am sorry but we have no choice but to obey.’”
I looked at her and said “Gabriel went ahead with it even though he loved you?” Joy nodded and said “Yes, he was under the fealty of the Father. He had no choice but to obey. Michael struck me with his sword and pain coursed through my body as my beautiful, white, wings were rived from my flesh. I passed out from the pain. When I awoke I was falling through darkness as I had been cast out of God’s house. I landed hard on something painful and laid there, in the darkness. Blood poured from my back. Screams of anguish filled my mouth. I filled the darkness with weeping and gnashing of teeth.” Joy looked distant. She pulled her tunic back up and sat down on the bed. She looked deep into my eyes and said “Rebecca, I was nothing. I had nothing. I had lost my wings. I had lost the love of God. I had lost everything. I was a little girl crying alone in the dark. I was scared, weak, and afraid.”
The situation had changed. I was quietly typing away and now it was Joy who was curled up in a ball on my bed.
She was sobbing.
I set my laptop aside and sat down beside her. I couldn’t help it. I put my arm around her shoulders, careful not to awkwardly press on her piteous stubs, and held her and comforted her.
Somewhere, there is a handbasket heading to hell with my name on it.
She sobbed and looked at me. She said “You know, for so long I thought about this as being all your fault. If only God hadn’t made such a ridiculous creature and then fallen in love with it, perhaps everything would be different. Now, I am wondering if part of it is my fault.” I offered “Because you didn’t give contentment?” Joy shook her head and said “No, I made the right choice. You don’t deserve contentment. I wonder if when God gave me his contentment if somehow he lost some of his own. Maybe what I should have done was give God his contentment back and then he would have smiled happily, as He usually does, wadded up the mistake of Adam the same way as a potter does with a piece of clay, and set about making some other general beast of the land or fish of the sea.” Joy looked at me and said “If I had thought to have done that, none of this would have happened.” Joy’s sobs slowly ceased and turned into a cold, dark, stare “Everything would have been better.” She looked into my eyes darkly “You would have never existed.”
I said nothing.
Joy looked at me with a stare of bitter hatred and I let go of her. Somewhere in the sad tale I had forgotten that this was the story of my mortal enemy. Some part of me wanted to cry with Joy for the loss of her wings, the rejection of her kind, her long suffering and righteous demands towards her father.
Her demands that humans shouldn’t exist…”