How to be a Smart SOB Like Me

A few days ago, I was watching the Weather Channel on TV, and a weatherman was asking some people on the street some very simple questions. One question was "in which direction does the sun rise and set?" A few people could not answer this question. Another question was “can you name the four seasons?” Several people could not answer this question either! Now I thought to myself, "damn, those are some really dumb people!" In my opinion, there should not be a single person on this planet who cannot answer these basic questions, but the fact is, there are probably a lot of people who cannot answer these and many, many more very simple questions. These are important things everyone should learn as they grow up. These people were walking down the street, and appeared to be ordinary people, functioning in life like everyone else, putting one foot in front of the other, but in reality maybe their brains were in overload just getting one foot in front of the other, and they were, in fact, on the verge of literally falling flat on their faces. Can these people learn more and function better? I think yes. That is what gave me the idea of writing this book.

Why the SOB in the title of this book? Well, mainly to catch your eye, but also because for too many people I'm sure, the title SOB fits me very well, especially if you happen to work in any form of government, and especially the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department (TP&WD). If you read my last book, Dangerous Waters, you will know why I say this. It really doesn’t matter if you read that book though, what matters is that you read this book. Dangerous Waters was written to help me; this book is to help you.

If you don’t think I’m an SOB now, I’m sure many of you will certainly think so by the time you finish this book; maybe long before you finish. Some of you may get so pissed off at me before you get to the end, you don’t even finish the book. That will hurt you, not me. I may say some things which will offend you, but remember I am trying to help you. Do I care what you think about me? No, certainly not. I really don’t care what other people think about me, and you should not care what other people think about you either. I am what I am, I am who I am, and if you don’t like it, well then, you can kiss my fat ass! I don’t care what you think. If you care what other people think about you, then other people will change you. You will not change me. Even if you slam this book shut right now and throw it away, you will have at least experienced lesson #1. Don’t care about the other 347 lessons? That’s your choice.

If I don’t fit your profile of what a normal person should be, then screw you. First of all, I have never claimed to be normal. In fact, I don’t think I have ever considered myself as normal, and that has never been a goal of mine. I have always strived to be just me, whatever that may be, but normal, no! I am an individual and unique, and think I have always been so. I will never conform to what you think is normal and I will never be a card carrying member of A Nation of Sheep. This was one of the few books I read while in High School that influenced my life. I am constantly evolving, but in a direction which suits me, not you. I don’t think I’m crazy or nuts, but will not entirely rule that out either.

I was taught by my parents when I was young, that I should not tell anyone everything I know. I was told that would make them smarter than me, as they would then know everything they know and everything I know. Now, I don't think this makes any sense, and it certainly doesn’t make any difference to me. Frankly, I just don’t care how smart you are or can become. I just hope I can avoid being killed or injured, by some stupid person doing something really stupid. If I can help make more people less stupid, maybe I will have a better chance of living a little bit longer. I may be able to help you become a little smarter, but probably not less stupid. I’ve heard stupid is for forever, and this is probably true. But maybe if you are a little smarter, which I can help you with, you will think a little more before you act. This, in turn, will hopefully make you do less stupid things. Try it and see if it works. There are way too many stupid people out there. I know; I see them on the highway every time I go somewhere.

I do not know why my parents told me not to tell people too much. Maybe they were just trying to shut me up. Kids learn very early to ask “why?” Maybe I was always telling them stuff and asking too many questions, and they just wanted to get rid of me. Kids really do ask a lot of seemingly silly questions, but this is the way they learn. I didn’t get all the answers, but I did ask. Maybe some or even a lot of kids don’t, or can’t, ask all that many questions. That’s just too bad, as this is how you have to learn when you are too young to read well, and you can’t really do much else.

Learning to walk is a challenge, and learning to get around the house, yard and then the neighborhood can be challenging too when you are young. There always has to be some help from parents, relatives and siblings, or you will not learn what you need to learn before you get into school. Maybe some parents are not smart enough to answer the questions the kids are asking, or are too busy to raise the kids who are their responsibility to rear to the best of their ability. This can be a serious problem. If you are a parent, take the time to teach your kids all you can. This is your job; your responsibility. If kids do not ask questions and get answers, they cannot learn. Parents should know this. Parents must be willing to answer the questions. If your life is so busy, why do you have kids? You must make time for them. I suspect too many people have not made time for their kids, and this is really sad, as now there are a lot of dumb people as a result.

What will the next generation of kids be like? This can create a vicious cycle for perpetuating dumb people. It doesn’t have to be this way though. I found other ways of learning. How about you? Considering all the dumb people around, someone needs to help these poor souls. I cannot replace your parents, but I am going to try to tell you everything I know, though this will be impossible, and you may already know some of the things I will cover, but it never hurts to repeat. I will also tell some pretty good stories about my life as I go, and share my beliefs and frustrations, all with a good measure of sarcasm and a little humor too. You will get some insight into my life and why I do things. I will also try to give you the strength you need to make better decisions, and get you started down a path which will lead to better finances, more happiness and hopefully to a better life, which will lead you to a greater respect for yourself and those around you. I will try to motivate you, and show you there is hope despite your parents, and it is never too late to learn, but you have to be willing to learn. I will help as much as I can, and maybe, just maybe, helping some dumbass to smarten up a bit, will save me from one of his or her stupid mistakes. That is my goal.

If you have a college degree, are living a good life and are happy with your life, this book is probably not for you. If you are mentally stable, know what you want out of life and are working in the direction of improving your life, then you probably do not need this book, but maybe this book can still help you a little anyway. I expect you will learn a few things you did not know before, and you might also find an interesting story or two along the way, as this book is also an autobiography of my life, with a lot of pretty good stories about as much of my life I can remember. I believe you will be glad you read the book, even if you really did not need it. I’m also sure you probably know someone this book can help, and maybe you might want to buy a copy to help him or her out a little. Maybe this book will save you from your dumb friends, and the stupid things they do. Think about that.

If on the other hand, you are not happy, if you are not moving forward with your life, if you do not know where your life is headed, you may really need a helping hand, and that is what this book is, a helping hand. Maybe your kids do not listen to you, as few teenagers do. Maybe you need to try to get them to read this book, if you can. This book is for anyone stuck in a rut and needing direction. Everyone knows someone like this, and even if this book cannot help you, give a copy to someone you care about, so you can help them. You will be glad you did.

There are now over seven billion people on this planet. Many have trouble with work, finances, relationships, and life in general. It is a tough world to live in and life can be stressful, leading to more problems, but it doesn't have to be that way. You can be a smarter, healthier, and happier you. This book is brutally honest and can give you the help you need. I wish I knew what I know now when I was in high school or college. No one told me what I needed to know, but I'll tell you if you'll accept the help in this book.
Larry Landgraf was born and raised in the swamp country of the Guadalupe River delta along the Texas Gulf Coast. He is an ex-commercial fisherman, an ex-contractor, and now after a death-defying on the job injury, he has turned to writing. He never planned on becoming an author, just something which fell into his lap when he woke up one morning with a story in his head and started writing.

Not for pansies

I figured by the title that this would be a fun book to read ;no disappointments there! The author gave a colorful twist to a self help guide,chock full of life experiences that is sure to hold your attention.If your feelings get hurt easily or you can't handle the truth very well then do yourself a favor and read the book anyway, it ain't going to hurt.There is all sorts of information on numerous topics wrapped around Larry's life story.Everything from politics to religion and other stuff.If you aren't the brightest crayon in the color box and want to expand your horizons this book is right up your alley.I can think of quite a few friends I wouldn't mind giving this book to as a present,which isn't such a bad idea! Larry's views on a lot of things coincides with a lot of views my dad had,and for me this book has the vibes of having a father daughter talk or a father son talk ..or perhaps a good buddy who sees your life going down the wrong path and has the guts to tell you so. by angelia