I have a daddy who does the world's Longest poo. Do you?...
Do you ever wonder why daddies disappear for hours on end? Where on earth do they go?
Based on true events, Daddy and the World's Longest Poo tells the adventure of a little boy who faces just such a conundrum. Follow him on a journey of discovery as he tries to make sense of one of life's great mysteries.
This debut picture book from self-published author Brydie Wright will delight pre-school and early primary readers with its honesty and sense of humour. Mums, Dads and grandparents will get a cheeky laugh out of it too.
Nov 18, 2016 Rose Collins rated it 5 stars
Very cheeky, hilariously fun read. 100% child friendly, nothing vulgar or shocking.
Great illustrations to accompany a humor filled children's book. Wonderful example of a rhyming picture book.
Brydie Wright is a very skilled children's author. She understands the needs of very young readers and delivers up a book they will absolutely adore. Rhyming texts are very tricky to pull off well and she does this flawlessly.
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“Let him go! No! stop! Pull him back in! Pull him back in!” yelled Jemma. She struggled but was firmly pinned against the rock face by Bollo. Jemma was up against the back wall of the walkway behind the waterfall. She watched helplessly as Todda and Jud held her best friend under the white torrent of water. Each of them was holding an arm and Gonga was spluttering and struggling to breathe, desperately trying to get out from under the force of the water. Todda and Jud were older and much stronger, so Gonga’s struggles were in vain. Bollo laughed even louder as Todda yelled, “Let’s see if we can wash this stain off once and for all!” referring to the white splash of hair in the centre of Gonga’s chest. He was the only gorilla in the entire band that had one, and was tormented mercilessly for it by Todda and his gang.
After school, Gonga met Jemma and they were enjoying a leisurely stroll past the three big boulders, under the old tree they affectionately knew as ‘Old Bow-Legs’ and up to the walkway behind the waterfall. It was easy to see why they nicknamed the tree because if you looked at it quickly out of the corner of your eye, it looked like a bow-legged old man. The walkway behind the waterfall was about halfway up the cliff, and enjoyed a good view over the pool and river at the bottom of the waterfall far below. As they were halfway through the walkway, the gang closed in – again! Todda had blocked the exit in front of them, while Jud and Bollo blocked the entrance behind them. As the three advanced on them, Todda yelled, “Time to wash you off, freak!” and grabbed him by the arms.
Now Gonga spluttered and gasped as the monumental force of the water knocked almost all the breath from his battered body. Gonga clung desperately to the ledge with his toes while Todda and Bollo stood laughing. Gonga was leaning back precariously, his chest, shoulders and face taking the full weight of the waterfall. Every time Gonga tried to pull himself back in, he was pushed backwards under the curtain of water again. Looking up, he could see the water falling down onto his chest like a relentless, white-water guillotine. He could vaguely hear yelling and laughter coming from the other side of the water curtain but was too scared to take much notice. Just as he thought he was about to die, he was yanked back through the heavy, stinging water and shoved up against the rock wall next to Jemma.
“Leave him alone, you cowards,” she screamed. Gonga’s legs felt like jelly, but Todda held him up, a vice-like grip around his throat.
“No boys. It looks like it’s permanent after all!” shouted Todda above the roar of the waterfall and punched Gonga on the white spot in his chest. Gonga slumped to the ground as Todda let him go.
Gonga ambled through the thick undergrowth down to a pool at the river’s edge. As soon as he arrived, he sat down and studied the water. He was the first to the water this morning, so he had to be extra careful. A few months ago a small gorilla had been caught by a crocodile, never to be seen again. Gonga sure didn’t want that to happen to him, so he scanned the water very carefully for any signs of movement. The adults had built a fence and placed it underwater at the back of the pool, but that was no guarantee of safety. He stood up and moved toward the water, but a movement in the trees above caught his attention and he stopped. He thought he had seen something grey coloured, and was just peering up when he glimpsed it again and a branch came crashing down into the pool. Just then, a huge crocodile jumped up out of the water, snapping its jaws loudly at the intrusion. The croc settled slowly back into the water, until only its eyes and snout were visible. It watched Gonga for a short while before turning around and heading to the back of the pool, where it swam straight out into the river and disappeared downstream.
Gonga waited until the pool was calm again, and thought about how lucky he was that the branch had startled the croc, checking his hands to see if they were still shaking. He threw a few pebbles into the brown, murky water, and said “the fence must be broken”, to no-one in particular. Once he was satisfied it was safe, he walked in up to his waist and, shivering slightly, started washing his face in the chilly water. “I wonder where my friends are?” Gonga thought to himself. “They’re normally here by now.”
Just then the water next to him exploded and he was absolutely drenched! Gonga jumped sideways and screamed loudly, thinking that the big croc had returned. He scrambled toward the side of the pool and looked back to see Todda in fits of laughter. Todda had swung out over the pool on a jungle vine, and bombed Gonga, landing in the water right next to him. Jud and Bollo were hiding behind a tree and howled with laughter at Gonga, who was still trying to wipe the water out of his eyes.
Todda and his two friends started pelting him with mud, saying to each other, “Aim for the white target, boys!” Just as Gonga was getting pelted, his friends came to his rescue. Splat! Splat! They peppered Todda and his gang with some of their own medicine. Thonk! Bollo howled as he was hit in the ear by a hard piece of mud.
“I didn’t know there was a stone in it! Honest!” said Jemma, but a sly little smile afterwards told Gonga and his friends otherwise. Jemma was always up to some sort of mischief!
“That’s enough!” shouted Mrs Brackengood, freezing everyone with her stern voice as she walked into a chaotic classroom. Everyone went silent, waiting to see what would happen next.
“Okay,” said Todda, casually throwing the hairpin over Jemma’s head, and out of the classroom.
Jemma’s eyes widened and, stepping on a log, launched herself high into the air to catch it, before it was lost forever. She caught the hairclip, but landed awkwardly on the side of a log. This sent her flying into the railing at the edge of the classroom. There seemed to be a split second where it held, but then the wooden posts shattered spectacularly, and Jemma dropped out of sight down the side of the cliff!
“No!” yelled Gonga, scrambling to the spot where Jemma had just disappeared. “Don’t go near the edge!” shouted Mrs Brackengood, but it was too late. Gonga was already flat on his belly, peering down the cliff face. He saw Jemma a little way down the cliff, her eyes wide with fear, clinging desperately to a narrow ledge with both hands. The broken railing made a nasty scraping noise, as it swung back and forth across the cliff face next to Jemma.
“Jemma, Are you okay?” yelled Gonga. Jemma nodded shakily as she clung to the ledge.
“Can you reach the railing?” called Gonga.
“No!” she grunted, breathing hard from her efforts. Gonga grabbed the broken railing and tried to swing it back and forth to reach Jemma. It was heavy and difficult to swing with just one hand. No matter how hard he tried, he was just not able to get it to swing close enough for Jemma to grab. The rest of the class was shouting encouragement, but it was just a vague background noise to Gonga and he was tiring out quickly. Just as he put all his effort into one last swing, he saw a grey arm appear from a crack in the rock face and give the railing an extra push in Jemma’s direction. Gonga was surprised, but only had time to think about it very briefly before the railing reached Jemma. She grabbed at it with one hand, the other still clinging desperately to the ledge. The wooden post snapped almost as soon as she grabbed it, sending the railing swinging wildly in the opposite direction. She scrambled and clung to the ledge again with both hands.
“Grab the leathervine part, Jem!” shouted Gonga. As the railing swung back toward Jemma, she grabbed one of the leathervines and wrapped it around her wrist. The railing jerked as its swing came to a sudden stop, almost pulling Jemma from her grip on the little ledge. She tested it to see if it would take her weight. There were loud cracking noises as the rest of the railing threatened to pull free from the cliff face.
Everyone in the classroom yelled, and Gonga shouted, “Help me! Grab the railing!”
Jemma looked at the mist-covered river below them and found that she couldn’t see the other bank. The mist enclosed their rope about halfway across the river.
She eyed this warily and said, “I’m chickening out. You go first!”
“Okay,” said Gonga with an adventurous twinkle in his eye. He climbed onto the vine, hanging upside down by his hands and feet. “Be careful!” said a nervous Jemma, but Gonga had already started across, their rope bouncing as he moved along. He was soon over the middle of the river and disappeared from Jemma’s view into the morning mist. All she could see was the bouncing of the rope. It gave a few big bounces and then went still for a while. Jemma’s heart almost stopped, but she heard no splash. The leathervine soon resumed its normal, gentle and rhythmic pattern of bounces. She waited anxiously for some signal to know that it was her turn. It was only once Gonga had disappeared into the mist that she thought about the fact that he didn’t have a safety rope in case he fell into the river.
Gonga’s heart was pounding as he moved hand over hand across the leathervine, despite his show of bravado in front of Jemma. Once he reached the middle of the river and was swallowed up by the mist, he found the vine even more wet and slippery. It was harder going now and he was straining to see through the mist. Suddenly a bird flew right past his face. It was such a shock that he instinctively put a hand up to protect his face and caused his other hand to slip off the wet vine. The vine bounced wildly up and down as he held on with his feet. He was hanging upside down over what he could only assume was the middle of the river, unable to see anything except for white mist. It had been great to see the mist over the river in the mornings, but now the mist was not so pretty anymore. Once the vine was still again, he slowly reached up and grabbed the vine with his hands again and started moving. He inched across through the mist, gripping the leathervine much harder than he probably needed to. He was relieved when he finally exited the mist, seeing that he was almost over land already. He sped up slightly and was soon in the branches of a large tree where he found the hook neatly lodged in the crook of two branches. Relieved, he sat there a short while, his chest heaving until he caught his breath.
Jemma waited anxiously on the other side of the river. There had been no splash and the leathervine had stopped moving now. She wondered if Gonga had reached the other side safely. Just then she heard a small splash. She couldn’t see anything except the ever-widening ripples where something had landed in the water below her.
I had no idea why I was there. I hadn’t done anything, apart from not handing in History homework. And talking too much in Maths. And pushing over Matthew after assembly. “I haven’t done anything.” I said.
Miss Simpson held up a letter by its corner, as if it were a disc of dog dirt. “Your parents have written to confirm you’re leaving.” She looked at me. “Tomorrow.” She peered over the top of her silver semi-circular spectacles, retained on a chain around her neck, as if they would ever dare to escape. She was clearly irritated by the thought of any child wanting to leave her school. Not just any school, but her school. Her narrow lips, tightly moulded hairstyle, sharp features and practiced flinty expression made my knees shake. “I have the letter here.”
“I think that’s wrong,” I ventured. “I’m not leaving; I’m staying here.”
While Dr. Psych sat and waited for his next patient, Tac realized it was time to have a little therapy session himself.
“Dr. Psych?” Tac called out.
Dr. Psych looked around the office, but didn’t see anyone.
“Down here.” Dr. Psych looked at the aluminum can sitting on his desk.
“My name is, Tac.” Dr. Psych jumped up and locked the door. It just wouldn’t look right for a Psychologist to be talking to a can.
“What’s the problem Tac?”
“My life.” he sobbed.
“Tell me about it,” he suggested.
He shivered at the thought of having to recall his past. He gazed longingly out the window.
“Well… it all started when I was born from Mama Bauxite.
Misty watches Drake fly over to the island in the middle of the large pond. Drake looks out into the pond and sees his true love, Misty, and their three little baby ducks swimming on the other side of the pond. He quacks and quacks until she comes over and joins him on the island. Drake is very happy now that his family is close to him.
Drake, Misty, and their three little baby ducks live in a beautiful park with two ponds in Whitewright, Texas. Drake is very proud of his three little baby ducks. Their baby ducks are named Stone, Stormi and Wendy. Drake is the oldest duck in the pond and he is the ruler of the park. There are many ducks that live in the park. They are all different kinds and colors. Drake is black and has a red patch around both of his eyes. Some of Drake's feathers turn blue and green when the sun hits them. Drake is the father of many of the ducks in the park. Drake loves Misty with all his heart. He protects Misty and his baby ducks from danger. In fact, he protects all of the ducks in the park every day! Drake is big and strong. Adult ducks are fast fliers too. Drake is a Muscovy duck.
Most ducks are smaller than swans and geese. A baby duck is called a duckling or a chick. A female duck is called a hen and a male duck is called a drake. Ducks can be found in fresh water or seawater.
A squirrel named Rocky also lives in the park and loves to eat the pecans that fall out of the two pecan trees. Rocky has fun climbing up and down all of the trees in the park. Rocky likes to climb way up high in the trees. There are all different kinds of trees in the park. The trees provide good shade for everyone because it is so hot in Texas during the summer months. One of the trees has a huge split in the middle of it. Misty will make her nest inside that tree and lay her eggs in there every year during spring. That is where many of Drake's ducklings were hatched.
Spring is the best time to visit the park because you will see all the ducklings running around! The ducklings always stay close to their mother. They are cute and so much fun to watch. During spring all of the flowers are blooming and the park is just beautiful with rose bushes all around it.
The park has a walking trail where people come to walk when the weather is nice. The park has benches where people come to relax and read books. The park is so pretty during spring that they have weddings at the park.
There is a monument in the park that is dedicated to honor the memory of four fallen soldiers killed in the Vietnam War.
The ducks will walk across the road to the smaller pond. If cars come down the road, they always stop and let the ducks cross the road. The people all around the park love the ducks and will always watch out for them in the road. It is beyond cute when Misty and her three ducklings cross the road!
There are tons of fish that live in the pond. Sometimes you can see a turtle swimming around in the pond, or even a green snake! The turtle's name is Shelly and the green snake's name is Dracula. There is a huge bullfrog that lives in the pond and you can hear him croaking all the time. His name is Slimy. Slimy likes to hop from one lily pad to another and then dive down into the pond. He likes to reach out with his long tongue and grab a water spider.
Sugar ran out the front door to go to the barn. She was very excited because she was getting her two horses today. They were both Tennessee Walkers. One of the horses was black, and the other was white. She had to get the barn ready for her horses. She swept and cleaned the stalls out. Then she put out fresh food, water and hay in the two stalls. She had just finished when the horse trailer pulled up. Her horses were so beautiful! She named her white horse Jewel, and she named her black horse Stud. She had brought some carrots with her from the house. She gave each horse a carrot as a treat. They loved their carrots, and they ate every bite of them. She spent the rest of the day petting and brushing Jewel and Stud. She walked both of them all the way around the barn.
Her father had taken her to a horse farm the day before where she had picked out the horses she wanted. While they were at the horse farm, they got to witness a white foal being born! It was awesome! There was also a tiny black foal that was only two days old. Both of the foals were so adorable.
Sugar loved to go horseback riding, and she could not wait to ride her horses. She had always dreamed of having a black horse ever since she was a little girl. Now her dream had come true. She gave her father a big bear hug for buying her the two horses. They were his gift for her graduation from the ninth grade. She went to sleep that night and had sweet dreams about her two beautiful horses.
The next day, Sugar got up bright and early to begin doing her chores on the farm. She went to gather eggs from the chickens and feed them. She gathered all of the eggs and put them in a large bowl. She was hurrying so much that she dropped one of the eggs on the ground, and it busted open on the way to the house. She went into the house, and she washed all of the eggs. Then she put them in the refrigerator.
She had another chicken coop with several newly hatched chicks. Sugar walked out to that chicken coop and played with some of the fur babies. She thought they were the cutest little fur balls. Then she fed the chickens in that coop.
Sugar had a beautiful Collie named Biscuit who guarded the farm. She also had a huge spotted black and white Great Dane named Giant. She fed Biscuit and Giant their dog food and gave them fresh water. Biscuit and Giant protected everyone on the farm and all of the animals. She also had two donkeys named Pancake and Waffle that protected all of the animals from wolves, coyotes, and mountain lions. She fed Pancake and Waffle, and then she went to feed her two cats named Diamond and Stone. Diamond was a white cat with stunning green eyes, and Stone was a gray cat with pretty blue eyes.
Sugar had a white alpaca named Blondie. Blondie had the cutest face. The thick blonde curly hair on her head always made her look like she had just been to the beauty shop! She was very sweet and gentle.
She also had two goats. She had a black goat named Soda and a brown goat named Pop. She had a gray rabbit named Popsicle, and a black and white rabbit named Cookie. There was also a sheep named Buffy. There were four cows named Tic, Tac, Toe and Uno.
When an attempted hijacking rattles a sleepy California coastal town, teenage detectives Dalton Fraser and Maddy Kane spring into action. With the help of a super-smart dog and a trained U.S. Navy dolphin, the teens investigate mysterious clues that lead them to uncover a smuggling ring. After their story is declared unbelievable by the small-town sheriff, Dalton and Maddy form a daring plan to catch Nico, the notorious ringleader, and lead the sheriff to his arrest. But the plan backfires and the young teens find themselves in more trouble than they bargained for, and Nico doesn’t want witnesses!
July 8, 2014, was a very special day at Linda's Bird House because that is the day I was born! I am a teeny tiny little bird. I looked like a little alien when I was first born! I was pretty funny looking because I didn't have any feathers yet. I really did look like some kind of creature from another planet! I am a female cockatiel. My breeder hand-fed me and hand-raised me, so I am very tame. I have a sister that looks just like me!
The cockatiel is a member of the cockatoo family. Cockatiels are native to Australia. Cockatiels can be trained to talk! The males are usually the only ones that will talk. A female can talk, but it is harder to teach them to talk. They are also harder to understand than the males. They love to whistle too! They are very colorful and the males are more colorful than the females. The males have white or yellow heads. The females have grey heads. The males and females both have pretty orange cheeks. There are several different kinds of cockatiels. They love attention and make wonderful family pets because they are very loving. They love to sit on your shoulder. Some cockatiels have lived to be 22 years old! Most cockatiels live about 15 years. The better care you take of your cockatiel, the longer it will live.
A nice woman named Barbara bought me from Linda's Bird House in Sand Springs, Oklahoma, as a gift for her mother. Her mother was afraid of me, so Barbara brought me to live in her house in Norman, Oklahoma. Her niece named me Anna after the star in the movie "Frozen."
Barbara had two parrots. One of her parrots was a Blue Quaker named Blue. Blue started bullying me, and one day he plucked out all my pretty long tail feathers! One of my tail feathers is still all chewed up on the end. Barbara was attached to me, but she knew she needed to find a new home for me because Blue wouldn't stop picking on me. Blue and I were always together, so I don't know why he did that to me! I thought we were friends. He was being a bad boy. It is not nice to bully someone! Blue was much bigger than I was. I screamed when he was doing it, but he wouldn't stop! He just kept on attacking me until he plucked all my tail feathers completely out! I think he was jealous of me! Barbara put me on her shoulder all the time and I don't think he liked her giving me all that attention. He wanted all of her attention.
Barbara gave me to her best friend who lives in Texas. It was a long trip from Oklahoma to Texas. It was late and I finally arrived at my new home. I was very scared. I hissed at my new owner the first time she tried to get me to step up on her finger. I hissed at her again later too. I bit her, but I didn't bite her hard. The next day, I wasn't as scared as I had been the previous day. I stepped up on her finger and she put me on her shoulder. I liked it up there. She was nice to me. She hand-fed me Cheerios and sunflower seeds. Oh how I loved those Cheerios! I loved all the attention too. I started whistling and having fun. I knew that she wasn't going to hurt me, so I wasn't afraid of her anymore. I stopped hissing at her and I didn't try to bite her anymore. She says, "step up" for me to get on her finger. Then she will say, "perch" and I step off on my perch. I have been trained to do this. I let her pet me all the time.
Barbara sent a bag of goodies for me to my new home. She sent a cage, a food bowl, food, two bird beds, some toys, millet spray, and a jungle gym. Yes, a jungle gym! She is such a nice person! I will miss her. She took such good care of me.
I heard two more birds in the house. They started singing and whistling at me. Then they started chirping at me. I liked it and it made me feel at home. I whistled back at them. I looked over and saw two yellow canaries in my room! Canaries are songbirds. The males are the only ones that can sing. Their names are Ricky and Lucy.
I am five months old now and my tail feathers are finally starting to grow back! I can't wait for my feathers to grow back. I need my tail feathers to fly! I have been at my new home for a week now! I have a HUGE cage where I can fly around inside my cage. My new owner lets me out of the cage every day too. She puts me on her shoulder or she puts me on top of the cage where I run around, play and eat. When she puts me on top of the cage, you can hear the pitter patter of my little tiny feet when I run around up there! She starts laughing when she hears it. She thinks it is so adorable. Sometimes when my owner puts me on top of my cage to play, I jump off and try to fly! I can't fly. My feathers have been clipped so I can't fly. Plus, my tail feathers haven't grown all the way back yet. It is good for me to try to fly. It is fun too! As soon as I land on the floor, I want to be picked up. I start screaming until my owner picks me up and puts me back up on my cage. I am afraid something will get me if I am on the floor. I don't like it on the floor at all! It is scary!
Dawn was nine years old, and she had been invited to go to a slumber party with a group of her friends from school. Her friend Lola, who was having the slumber party, only lived about a block away from her house. Dawn's mother had given her permission to go to the party. Dawn was very excited and couldn't wait to go to the party. She knew that it was going to be so much fun. Dawn and her family had just moved to town, and she was still trying to fit in with all of the girls from her school.
Dawn's mother dropped her off at Lola's house. There were twenty girls at the party. All of the girls were in the sixth grade except for Dawn. She was only in the fifth grade and a year younger than everyone else.
Lola had planned a scavenger hunt. She put all of her friends in groups of two girls and gave them lists of what they were searching for. Lola told the girls that they had to stay in their groups and not split up. They started off on their fun adventure going from house to house searching for all of the items on their lists. The first team to find all of the items on their list would win a prize.
Dawn and Mandy were put together as a team. While they were on their scavenger hunt, Mandy told Dawn that she wanted to split up so they could finish faster and win the hunt. Dawn didn't think that was a good idea, and she didn't want to cheat. Mandy started to get angry with Dawn, so Dawn went along with her. They split up, and each girl went to the houses alone. While Dawn was walking by herself and crossing the street, a car with one headlight and a broken windshield pulled up to her. The man inside the car reached over, and the car door flew open. He yelled at her, "Get in the car!" She took off running as fast as she could. She ran up to the closest house and rushed inside without even knocking! The elderly couple that lived in the house was sure surprised to see her come flying through their door. She told them that there was a man trying to force her to get into his car! They went outside and saw him just as he was speeding away. They told her that she was okay; he was gone now. She was scared so she ran back to Lola's house and told her what had happened. Now Lola knew that she had gone on the hunt by herself and that her team had split up to win the hunt. They were caught cheating! Lola was happy that Dawn was okay, but told her that was one of the reasons they were to stay in teams of two.
Soon, all of the girls forgot about what had happened. Everyone stayed in the front yard of Lola's house. They started tumbling in the grass and having fun playing together. It was starting to get very dark outside. Dawn looked down the street, and she saw the car with only one headlight coming again! She yelled at everyone to get into the house because that bad man was coming down the street again! Everyone ran into Lola's house. Lola ran inside and told her mother what was happening. Her mother came outside and didn't see the car with only one headlight. It was gone now. She told all of the girls to stay inside now because it was getting so dark. She went around locking all the doors to her house.
After that Lola started playing music. All of the girls started dancing and laughing. They were having so much fun.
Lola told everyone that they were going to have a séance. Then she said that they were going to try to talk to an old witch from hundreds of years ago. Dawn was scared and didn't want to have a séance. Everyone else wanted to have the séance, so Dawn didn't have a choice. Lola turned off all of the lights. Then the girls got in a big circle and held hands. Lola lit several candles in the middle of the circle. Lola told everyone that they were not to break hands during the séance or the person sitting next to them would have their eyes scratched out by the witch. Dawn was very scared now. They started calling the witch. She held on tight to the hands of each girl beside her. Suddenly, one of the girls holding Dawn's hand broke away from her. Dawn tried to grab her hand back and suddenly the girl started screaming, "My eyes!" Lola jumped up and turned the lights on. Dawn looked over at the girl sitting next to her. She saw blood around both of her eyes! Dawn started screaming! Suddenly everyone started laughing! It was all a big joke that they had played on her. She didn't think it was very funny, and it had scared her. The girl had smeared ketchup all over her eyes to make it look like blood. They had all planned this joke on Dawn. Everyone knew that Dawn didn't like séances and was afraid of them. Dawn was the youngest girl there, and she felt like they were all picking on her. She didn't think it was right. Lola's mom came in and told everyone they needed to settle down. Then she told them to start getting ready for bed.
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