How do You Write When Your Grieving?

Eshelle Butler was born and raised in Chicago Illinois. She graduated from Columbia College Chicago and has a BA in Marketing Communications and Journalism. She also has a background in music. In addition to being an Author, she is also a Poet, Screenwriter, and Blogger. Eshelle is divorced and has one child and currently resides in a small town outside of Chicago Illinois.
You know I have always had a very difficult time dealing with death. I used to be afraid of it but I'm not as afraid as I used to be. I think I'm more afraid of losing the people I love. My Godmother died yesterday. I kind of expected it because she had a stroke a few weeks ago and wasn't getting better. She died in the hospital. After I found out, I cried and spent the rest of my day trying to keep doing the things that I would normally do on Fridays. But it was hard. I just felt numb. Like I did when my brother died last summer.  I said I was going to take a day off from writing and you know what...I didn't. Why? Because I know myself and I don't trust that I wont get writer's block after only one day of not writing. Yes, I am notorious for getting writer's block and when it happens; it lasts a very long time. I couldn't take the risk because I am writing my new novel "Spirit Walk" and I want to have it finished by Christmas. That is the goal that I set for myself because when I don't discipline myself like this, I will lose my edge. I will go months without writing a damn thing and I hate it. I feel like I'm handicapped and it's literally crippling. I have committed myself to write at least five or more pages a day. This way even if I am busy that day, I can still get in at least five pages no matter what. I just started doing it like this with this book. So far it has worked for me. But I have to say it's hard to even do five pages while grieving the loss of